Pitiful Recover

how does a person recover?
a skill I never learned
but tried so many different ways
I swore to never write about you again
I lasted a whole day

there is the way of pushing something out
blocking out a person with all of your might
you were there in my dream
just standing there watching me
I can't help a song from reminding me of you
I can't help people coming up to me saying your name
"are you sad?"
she asked so cooly, loud, all the faces turned to mine
"no", I lied breezily to everyone
except me
I'm a fraud, knew it all along
my stomach shook all night just
thinking about you
I tried
getting it out of my system
keeping it in
I didn't write about you for over a day
I look for and hide from you everywhere
how does a person recover?

I need you now more than ever
and I hate it