Stream Of Unconsciousness

you eat too fast, and I don't mean food I mean socially
letting no one get up to your speed, you are just too damn hungry

he said the thc, it's soaking straight into your blood stream
and I am tempted to reply that I care as much as he cares why I'm still clean

everything is in jars, jars, and jars
and even all of the doors in this house are ajar
because we need our solitude, but can only take it so far, 
far, far

I am focusing on my self esteem now, and seeing how it is to feel okay
I know it is time, and I am ready, and I just want to move away
it's this stale, awful town I've been talking shit about, and my friends can find out some day
as long as they don't find out today

he calls it floor-bud, what it is once it has fallen on the floor
I laugh and tell him that I've had that feeling before
something so prized, with so much potential, suddenly trash compared to all the rest
he said that it will now always be that, and I see why that feeling never left

my dad says, he doesn't want these two kids now in his life
if I listened to everything my dad said, I'd be permanently hung up on every slight
remember the few things he ever said to or about me forever, well looks like I just might

I have a hard time calling my friends now, cause I am lazy and it is too much of a task
I do not want them to know what I am and am not doing, and lucky for me they never ask
lucky for them, I am an understanding, loyal, loving, total pain in the ass

now due to poor judgement, I always chase the most complication person I can find, even just to study their ways
now due to dedication, I'll always get lost for years on end in my mind of their maze

I know these streets like the back of my hand, I know you just like the palm
blood soused, nail through, the feeling hasn't gone
though you've gone, so when you visit, you never think to ask what is it
well I would tell you, even dying for an absent someone else's sins, couldn't turn me religious

(I am just trying to see how it would be to be okay
I plan to better myself now, get out of yesterday, leave it yesterday)