Anchors And Grappling Hooks

I plug in my laptop

I plug in my cellphone

I plug in everyone else's laptops and cellphones

because like many other concerns, this is something I cannot conceal

my fear of things running out on me

I can see the sky through the blanket covering my window

I can see you in my hands

but like many other concerns

I cannot reach you

or anyone

or anything

I am watching the clock more than anything

there are not enough hours in the day for all of my anxieties to cram into

they burst into the night 

and I am too weak to (fall asleep) wake up, again

so come on let's just chalk this up

like my body

put you where you belong on the list of things I must always live with but loathe uncontrollably

like my body

remember me as I once was

covet me like a memory

I got some abandonment baggage I wouldn't dare leave behind

I am drinking water until I'm sick 

but my ocd isn't the only thing that keeps ticking