How I Lost My Way

"I was a stupid son of a gun
with initials carved into me
a stray, a runaway, afraid some day you'd shoot me
scratched off the letters with a pocket knife
how I lost my way, when I was tossed into the fray
this is not my life
who I am kidding? it's a thank you disguised as a written apology
for everything you taught to me"

I hear your voice
I wince as it rings
it rings, but not true
each inflection is so purposeful
every word with such intent
I hear your voice
in the way that every person would describe as drunk
but I know you drunk
know you high
know your goodbye
or lack there of
I hear your voice
and listen for four years of trying to forget
perfectly orchestrated, and I played my role
falling for it then, until now, is the only thing I regret

so I'll call it quits, as I often do
not that difficult of a move
with someone you are not on speaking terms with
I will spend my whole life attempting to drop this
you will make it impossible because you catch my drift