I awoke from a dream, in which I was being conclusively dismissed in something I was so myself involved in. I reflected upon this feeling that was so prominent and so familiar in that moment, and how situationally it struck such a raw and tender cord within. I pondered, it must be somewhat provoking and relative to be this prevalent. Sure enough I saw it all, as I sometimes do. In desperate hopes and attempts to rehash and heal past relations, it is itself twice the painful experience when this does not go as I was praying for. When the other does not act or behave how I had wished for, and thoughtfully deserved. In the shadow of my history, this not working out attests to a theory so great and a failure so relevant you could even call it (an irreversible) pattern. I nearly wish to say aloud, I need this, I have to work this out some way or another if it is ever to end, and the incomplete sick feeling will not whatsoever cease until closure, don't do this to me. Now it isn't fair to instill such a large and monumental story within a small person (their every choice, word, and action). I promised myself a truth which said that I should run, once discerning similarities enough to project an entire being, and additionally relationship, right atop another. therefore I must, and I will.
Oh how one can represent and personify something so much deeper, totally blind to it all the while, with having only obscure, minor hints to suggest at something far bigger.
No comments:
Post a Comment