Words

In my dream last night I sat small at a wooden table, on a plastic chair with metal legs. His chair was scooched up to the right of mine, just about touching. I was writing, big embarrassing letters and lots of words. I stared at his hands as they moved, and they were familiar and I liked them. I liked him there so much, sitting there close, attentive and patient. But his presence made me reevaluate the words on my page, not only messy, but his being there had brought to my attention so many errors and mistakes in the words. I don't want him to see these flaws, they felt important, and were everything. I would glance at him when I could, but was so immensely absorbed in the attempted correct of my foolishness. I wanted nothing less than to blackout and erase all imperfections and spelling flaws, I hope he did not notice as much as I pained over the humiliation of what he could so easily see. I'm racing to fix all I can, but in doing so more things were revealed and it seemed never ending. I recall thinking if he were to get up and leave (as I felt he would long to) I would prefer that over his thoughts of my blemishes, so embarrassing, and personal, almost as if they were characteristics of myself. (He displayed that he wanted me to leave it, be with him, but there was much work to be done on my errors and flaws.) Plenty of time elaspes but neither he nor I spoke a single word.