Reasoning For A Reason

"I would never forgive you."
"I know."
So which was it? Did I employ such a crucial error that my existence should be something gone completely unnoticed or even thought of again? Or the latter; a simple and predictable loss of interest? Was I disappointing enough to make my own life worth no value at all? I need an answer, cause I've been searching in this wretched heart and brain of mine for some four hundred days. I never get any closer to a conclusion, truth comes in waves. I have replayed, and evaluated every single glance, word, and movement. Which was it? Was it a choice I made along the way, haphazardly? Absent mindedly? Or did the excitement and cherish wither to nothing with time? Did this grow old? Did I lose my glow and shine, and become just another face, another heart? I just can't decipher if it was my word choice, how I compiled my emotions, that drove you away with all permanence, lacking any doubt at all. Or was there a monumental mistake executed with my own very hands, so awful and selfish that I deserved no explaination, not so much as one criticism for my own benefit. How bad was it? Did I act so sincerely as if I had forgotten and disregarded each wish, promise and secret? Was I so convincing that silence was the only fair rebuttal to such a brutal betrayal? Or was I just rusty, depressing, and no longer funny and charming in that uncomfortable but real way? Did my actions and words become redundant? My smile dreary and my laughter off-putting? Did I like you too much and remind you too often? Did I never grow up or mature in any way for years and years, and was that devastating how oblivious I was to all of myself? Did I get so annoying?
"You mean if I got over it."
"No, I don't. I mean if you get sick of me."

Is it things you do or don't do that cause such disclosed and one sided anguish?