Fears

this morning i spent rubbing my face, but it just wouldn't come off. it reminded me too much of things to tell you, but you made a point to show me that you no longer had a lifetime to listen to me talk. every time you complimented, i returned it with a scoff, i guess you finally got offended by the shrugs, or sick of that walk. and as much as i have already trembled this day, i still cannot shake off that dream, i looked it up later and it said i needed to deal with my fears and anxiety. before i woke up i remember that i screamed. to whomever i was with i said, panicked, help me, help me. a virus i just couldn't face, crawling under my thin skin. that person looked at me and told me that only i could get out, what was that far in. they were so calm, patience with my cries, and to my surprise, i torn out that crawling sickness, conquering my most difficult strife. i was embarrassed of my gaping wound, not bearing to look at it, as hard as i tried, i was nervous, all my thoughts consumed by that bleeding hole, but this was my anguish to triumph, and i did, i was changed, i was whole.


     every once in a while i have nightmares, but swore to myself to scrawl out these dreams