Perhaps A Thought Process

claritin, not seeing clearly, gorilla marketing, forgetting the city, clean carpets, espresso and coffee, doing laundry, roads with grass in the middle, not knowing what to say, wondering if the people you know still pray, boxes full of clothes, wearing shoes with holes, downloading songs from soundcloud and youtube, seeing movies with friends who still don't like the ones that you do, laughing alone in your room, trying to kill bugs while driving, people telling you that you're hiding, dreams with animals with chromosome disorders, losing possessions, square pictures, with borders, deciphering regrets, replaying conversations, joints and cigarettes, drinking different things, using different cups, trying to fall asleep, trying not to wake up, folding fitted sheets, smiling at people you'll never meet, eyes that constantly water, unable to cry, can't start conversations, wondering who am i, so worried that i'm boring, coconut waters, and trying not to eat eggs every morning, talking to people asleep, spit on sheets, fast days and slow nights with no outtings, sulking, wanting the phone to ring, pouting, wanting to be alone, being alone, not wanting to hear the phone, watermelon, cardboard boxes, using people, using parents, feeling like a moocher, people asking where you live, people asking about the future, staring at hands, changes of plans, old sutures and no new wounds, money and it leaving every which way, people you love but trying to make you stay, missing your friends sing, breaking twigs, grass, everything, trying to purify air, thoughts, remembering, wanting to disappear, wanting to lucid dream, mom saying you're doomed, with low self esteem, guilt, too much thinking, too much writing, not enough walking, not enough trying, dropping all arrangements, tie dying shirts, tie dye on pavement, conversations, and the ones that leave no traces, eyes are on fire, but trying not to complain with each and every statement, not knowing, and not knowing card games, being forced to move on, being forced to say people's names, reverting back in time, reverting to the same, driving and driving slowly, not staying in your lane, feeling claustrophobic, trapped in each situation, reminding yourself that this is vacation, knowing that you're wrong, wanting to show people songs, wanting your face not to be too close, but feeling so far away, refraining from over-sentiment, the feeling when you cave, salads, secrets, seeing you one day, heartache, melancholia, the forces of love, that you can't help but crave.