Rolling

 You and I used to say that the credits were rolling. One of us heard somewhere, someone say that you would explain part of a movie that someone missed, even the first half. Someone said that when it is too late for that, when a person walks in and says almost mindlessly, what'd I miss? If it's over, and you just stayed for the whole thing, you are not going to retell the whole thing. You didn't want them to miss it, but they weren't there, and the credits are rolling. 
I have been feeling that a lot lately.

(I often think about how there have been three people in my life to know me, know me. I, then, think about how it is that those people understand me. I am conceived by them in separate ways, that hardly overlap, but meshed together become one person that is me. If you picture a circle, the first portion is who I am because of who I was. This person knows the ins and outs, and can very much actually understand the reasoning behind it all, being conscious of the background, all the details. This could possibly be the most substantial, because it is the most authentic and unbiased, most lasting and properly apprehended. This is who I am in an organic sense, formed from past events, and family, and mistakes, the unspoken or forgotten things. The secondary, who I have become, who I am now (this does also of course include who I aspire to be). It is not why things affect me, but rather how. Knowing absolutely what it all means, everything I am thinking and doing in that moment, and moments to come, facial expressions, nervous tendencies. Knowing my feelings, the food that I dislike, what hurts my feelings, when to ask questions, what I think is funny. This is knowing me, not in an abstract sense, but from paying attention, and listening and caring, taking the time, figuring it out. Thirdly, the most difficult to word, a more theoretical and imaginative way, obscure and magical. This is involuntary, inherent, just knowing, my thoughts, and complex inner-workings. Empathy in a way that I do not think many people experience in their lifetime. Every single idea accepted and grasped. And I think this is what makes up me, as a human. There is some conscious and subconsciousness in each relationship, good intentions in all, heart and mind. I felt loved, because they deduced how it was to show me. If I were to tell a story to these three parts, it would digested totally differently each time, but all right.)