Refrain

I know you probably think that I am pessimist disguised as a realist
So I refrain from asking what I wish to, which is if there will ever be an end to this
I chose not to in fear of you taking that the wrong way
and how people would when you ask them if they think you won't be friends some day
which is as someone asking any query with one answer, for some petty validation
so I can feel better about myself, relishing in the given explanation
but I am really just wanting to know if you are capable
or if everything comes to an end, and that I already know it's inescapable
though you would tell me I am absurd
using some empty words, to make me feel better
like promise, love, or forever
before you go, just tell me so that I can show
that you were what I wanted in a friend
someone to reteach me trust and moderation, again
while I still have the chance let me tell you what I appreciated
though it was everything, from the sobbing to the laughter